Friday, January 18, 2008

Porn in my head makes the workday creep by

Ah holy crap! Why does my mp3 player hate me? Had to turn it up to hear Patrick Stump's cover of 'So Sick' (gorgeous song) got lost back in my work and then shuffle decided that Arma Angelus would be a good follow up. REALLY REALLY LOUD! It's possible I screamed a little and pulled out the earphones. My co-workers just roll their eyes at me. A lot.

And now it's stuck on old Fall Out Boy and The Academy Is... Five TAI songs practically in a row. Patrick's voice has changed a lot. It's amazing how good Pete is at seeing potential. I'd like to be him for a day and see all the possibilities of the world. Wonder if the depressing flip-side is that you also see everything that will never shine, no matter how much it tries. Or the constant missed opportunities, thrown away or snorted up your nose. *notbitter*

Have I mentioned how much I love the White Stripes? Because duh. And also because gaelic and ruby shoes. Plus some angst. Someone mentioned the new video has bulls and a matador? Remind me to search You Tube.


Discussing fanfic with my best friend:

Me: T...can I ask you something? I...do you have any porn?
Him: Jenn, I'm gay.
Me: *blushing* I know. I need gay porn. See, I've been reading a bunch of stories and I have questions.
Him: Stories? Questions?
Me: *mumbles* Nevermind...it was stupid...I just didn't want to look dumb...
Him: No, no, it's ok. We'll watch together and you can ask your questions. Then you can explain about these stories.

Because bandom is all about the gay. Especially when they practically ship themselves. *I'm looking at you Gabe Saporta and Pete Wentz.* So T and I are meeting up Sunday and I'm trying to put together a list of questions that don't make me sound too stupid or cause me to burst into flames from rampant blush. It's not going so well. I keep hoping he just loves the subject so much he'll start babbling and I won't have to ask a thing.

If Pete would go back to fanboying Patrick, I wouldn't need to resort to artificial stimulation for my Pete/Patrick love. No one really writes good buddy stories. Or if they do, it's always buddybuddyPORNangstbuddymaybesomemoreporn. On the other side of the fandom, Jon and Spencer are totally in love and I could watch them make cow eyes at each other all day long. I practically have been what with all the new Panic clips popping up all over the place. Damn that exclamation point. I have to keep deleting it. It refuses to die.

Wish me luck with the questions...oh yeah, no one knows about this journal. Maybe I'll ask for some help compiling a list over at LJ.

3 comments:

i can haz sanity? said...

Ok, so, hi. I feel like such a weirdo for following your journal over this, but I found you because of a couple of the answers you posted in The Wentz's newish blog. Like, they seriously made me laugh, which made me curious and well. Here I am.


In regards to your actual post! I've totally done the gay porn for research! thing. The good news is that you're lucky you're not in it alone. That's what I did which resulted in me I watching something called "Carnival" once that still makes me cringe everytime I see a feathered mask. Mardi Gras is my own private hell. If there's some specific stuff you wanted to know, I totally know some informational sites you could go to. (And oh dear god, did I just offer a stranger gay porn-fomation? I think I did....)

I agree about the total lack of P/P buddy fic. Comradarie was never so fluffy! Well, that and I fall in love with people platonically all the time so the whole "i r <3 you *snuggles*" thing /= "i r sex you up" necessarily. To me, anyway. But porn sells or gets views or whatever.... On the other hand, I also agree with the Jon/Spencer angle, which makes me feel like such a horrible contradiction :p

Right, so. Again, I really hope my being here/commenting isn't creepy. *scampers off*

sceaterian said...

Your response completely made my day. Thank you for stopping by. I'm not sure how to do this so that you actually get my reply since I'm kinda new to this site. I read your blog but it's so beautiful and personal that I couldn't post there. So here's hoping you find your way back.

"(And oh dear god, did I just offer a stranger gay porn-fomation? I think I did....)" That made me laugh out loud for 5 minutes! Not lying.

Thank you for the offer to help. I'd appreciate it. I'm in way over my head at this point. Like you said, luckily I have a guide. I fully trust him and I think he'll know what I can handle and won't push beyond my boundaries. (See what happens when I accidentally read a single D/s fic? Suddenly I'm BDSMing my best friend!) Right now most of my questions are completely vanilla of the "is that even possible/do real people do that" kind. So anything with the basics would be a good start.

It's so nice to know that someone else appreciates the platonic love of Pete and Patrick. Soulmates doesn't always imply sexmates. The way Spencer stares at Jon implies sexmates. So totally not a contradiction! Actually I'm kidding. I'm happy just to laugh at them laughing at each other.

It's 4am and I'm barely coherent. Sorry. But I did want to say thank you and please feel free to share your experience.

i can haz sanity? said...

I found my way back! (It's the same persistent curiosity). I'm pretty new here too, so no worries :) And thank you! I feel kind of like an exhibitionist with my journal, but I'm the worst at keeping my own secrets.

Ok, so, resources! This site is no longer being updated, but it has a lot of good info/links still active. There're a few photos, a few explanations of some kinks, and it's written by someone who's experienced at least a good deal of it by trying it out first hand :) (Clicky the linkage)

That sites actually a good deal of help all on its own. Also, the thing people forget about gay porn in fic is that *shrug* it doesn't have to be totally accurate. I mean, it's nice when physical limitations are adhered to, but you can also totally gloss over is *usually takes this route* *also happens to be a bit wimpy* So, yeah, I really hope that helps! And in regards to the "do real people even do that thing"? No matter what, at some point in time, the answer will always be yes. *laughs*

Yay! I'm so glad my comment was happy making :)

It's 5:30 am now, but then I'm never coherent. If you wanna bug me, you can always add me on AIM (screen name: languisity) or on lj. (My lj name is the same as my AIM screen name.)